Tourist Complains About ‘Vietnamese Showers’, Except They’re Not Showers

Man mistakes bidet for shower. Hamish Carruthers/Facebook

There is sadly a bit of a reputation surrounding Brits abroad, with our butchered attempts at Spanish and penchant for enthusiastic poolside drinking.

And – yet again – one adventurous young Englishman has failed to elevate us in the eyes of the global community; posting a right clanger on the Hanoi Massive Community page.

According to the Facebook page description, Hanoi Massive Community is a space for ‘both foreigners and Vietnamese to talk about everyday life, exchange culture and discuss on life’.

Unfortunately for tourist Hamish Carruthers, he had failed to brush up on his understanding of Vietnamese bathrooms before heading out to Hanoi, resulting in a bit of a kerfuffle…

Man thinks bidet is shower.Hamish Carruthers/Hanoi Massive Community/Facebook

Hamish had been enjoying his time in Vietnam’s capital city, but was confused by how different the showers appeared to be.

Not only were the shower heads too low and the stream of water too cold, poor Hamish had to keep his finger pressed on the button to keep it flowing. What on earth was going on?

Sharing a picture of himself washing his hair, a puzzled Hamish asked the group members:

Alright guys, I’ve been in Hanoi almost a week now and I’m loving. My only complaint is the showers. Im all for saving water but having to hold your finger on the button to keep the water flowing seems a bit extreme. The cold temperature doesn’t bother me too much but why are they so low?

You have to bend down to wash your head. Vietnamese people aren’t that short… I’ve tried 2 different hostels now and they both have this style of shower, what are other peoples opinions on the Vietnamese shower?[sic]

Of course, this wasn’t a special, water-saving shower, but a hose commonly found in Southeast Asia to wash your backside, an alternative to environmentally unfriendly paper and a rudimentary version of a bidet.

The post quickly went viral and has since been shared nearly seven thousand times, bringing delight to Hanoi locals, as well as anyone who has ever made a bit of an ar*se of themselves abroad.

Members of the group were deeply amused by Hamish’s daft gaff, ‘showering’ him with jokes and advice on what a bidet actually should be used for, aka a ‘bum gun’ as one commenter aptly described it.

One person howled:

Thats not the bleedin’ shower man. Thats your toilet roll substitute.

Another person cackled:

Hahah, OMG, your so innocent. This is the water gun cleaning ur anal after sh*tting, not for shower.

However, others could relate all too well to the mix-up, sympathising with fish-out-of-water Hamish for washing the wrong end.

One person empathised:

Literally two minutes ago I did the same! I feel with you bro!

Another haunted person said:

You should not laugh at this, it’s a sad story.

Yes, come on everyone, there is nothing to laugh at here. Just a bloke merrily washing his face as if it was a mucky bottom.

Man confused by Bidet in Hanoi. Hamish Carruthers/Facebook

Look, things could have been much, much worse. At least Hamish didn’t mistake the toilet brush for a loofah…

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